Mr. Dirty Read online

  Nathan

  It was certainly a rare occasion when Nathan got turned down by a woman. And it made something deep and visceral only want her more. But he recognized it as the urge to chase. Hell no. He shut that shit down. He’d survive an empty bed for the night.

  Sure his cock wanted to jump out and plead with her to touch him, but Sophie had more than good reason; she had just seen her boyfriend try to kiss another girl right in front of her face and then had had to carry on smiling. It had been a rough night for her.

  He’d had no intention of kissing her when he’d offered champagne and an ear. Yes, he’d found her composure compelling tonight, and all right, she’d looked well fit too, but seducing her had genuinely not been his game plan.

  She’d just been standing there looking lost and vulnerable with champagne dripping from the ends of her hair and he’d wanted to taste her. Yeah, next time, think that through, mate. Laughing like a mad woman with tears streaming down her face, she’d been so exposed, so raw … so beautiful.

  He’d never seen somebody as honest and as real as that. Not close-up. It was a privileged thing, to witness somebody’s emotions in that way, especially as we barely know each other, he thought.

  He felt as though he had seen every single part of Sophie’s personality laid bare, and it was the innocence and honesty that he’d found so attractive. She’d been unable to hide anything from him in that moment and he’d seen that she was a good person, right down to the core.

  And then he’d been slammed with a sledgehammer that was recognition. He suddenly knew why she seemed so familiar. Her hair was different but she was the redhead from the party a year ago.

  His whole life, all he’d witnessed were people lying to each other about who they really were. The one reason he hadn’t been fucked up about his past was because of his dad, and now the one man he’d looked up to as his inspiration had blown that all to shit.

  Until tonight, he hadn’t thought he would ever trust someone fully again. Until tonight, he was of the opinion that deep down, everyone was capable of being mistrustful and a lying dick. Until he’d seen Sophie and discovered that, just maybe, his conclusion of the human race didn’t apply to absolutely everybody.

  It was a daunting thought, and he didn’t want to dwell on it too long. The urge to kiss her had just come over him, and goddamn he was glad it had. Because now he knew why she’d always seemed so familiar.

  Clearly she didn't recognize him. But he knew her all right. Her eyes had haunted him for a year.

  Nathan knew that the desire to fuck somebody was what bullshitters described as a ‘spark.’ Now, much to his bewilderment, he thought he could kind of see what these people were talking about.

  He fucking hadn't recognized her. How? Hell, he had wanted to fuck her all right, from the minute he’d seen her downstairs looking aloof, but when he'd kissed her, it had been different. Deeper. More …

  I really need to take care of this. Nathan directed his thoughts toward his throbbing hard dick. It’s fucking with my head, clearly.

  Being horny for too long was obviously making him think bullshit, so he grabbed his laptop and headed into his bedroom to resolve the issue. Maybe after, he could forget all this crap about sparks and get his head back in to focus. He fucking hoped so. So what if she was the girl from the bar? So what if he'd thought about her for the better part of a year? He was not fucked.

  11

  Sophie

  It was a struggle for Sophie to think of anything other than that kiss. Though she’d been beyond exhaustion the night before, sleep had been replaced by the continual replay of Nathan kissing her. Each time she relived it, the tingle low in her belly flared and no amount of wishing it away would stop it.

  She rolled over and grabbed her phone, scrolling through her messages and all the while refusing to leave the security of her duvet. Fuck, so much had changed in just twelve hours. There were five missed calls from Chris, as well as multiple text messages. She ignored them all.

  The stab of hurt in her stomach was quick and swift when she thought of the humiliation of last night. But just as quickly as her stomach cramped, the pain was instantly replaced by butterflies low in her belly.

  Yeah … That’s not your belly.

  Okay, fine. Somewhere in the vicinity of her belly. If she was being honest, the fluttering was happening a good deal more south of her belly, but details.

  The image of Christopher kissing that other woman hurt. Does it really? She shoved the question aside. Of course it hurt. Does it hurt or are you more embarrassed?

  That kiss with Nathan canceled out the hurt, though. She groaned and tossed in the bed. The problem was her subconscious was a good deal less shocked and hurt by what had happened than her heart was.

  Deep down she’d always known Christopher had been filler. A good solid guy who bored her stiff. She’d been trying to make herself love him. But if she was honest, what they had wasn’t love. It was a standing twice a week dinner arrangement followed by a mediocre shag that never resulted in an orgasm for her unless she helped herself along … which of course made him feel insufficient.

  She’d eventually had to stop assisting herself to orgasm when he was done because all he’d do was moan and whinge about why she had to do that. And how emasculated he felt. So there had gone her little spot of happy. She shook her head. There were much better things to think about.

  Not for the first time, Sophie buried her head in her pillow as she recalled, once again, how she’d ended it with Nathan. She got it now. The endless stream of women. When he wasn’t being an arse, he was sweet. Couple that with his charm and that smile, hell she’d been so tempted.

  I should have just gone into his place. I’m such an idiot.

  Why had she panicked? Yes, Nathan was a dirty man whore, which was part of the appeal. He clearly knew how to deliver an orgasm. More than likely multiple ones. Hell, just a little bit of dirty talk from his smooth as silk voice and she’d been halfway there last night.

  You could have been making up for the lack of orgasms over the last year.

  Instead, she lay in bed admonishing herself. Why had she let the thought of just how many women he’d slept with ruin everything? Because you want to be wanted for you. You want to feel special. But Nathan certainly wasn’t the make you feel special forever guy. He was the make you feel special right now guy. And right now, that was what she needed.

  The memory of him holding her so strongly, kissing her like she was the only woman on earth, was so burned into her mind that she could still smell him.

  She groaned again and rolled over. This wasn’t fair. Why was he so damn nice? He had told her that he was going to take her out tonight, to show her how to have fun without having the heartache, apparently. Will we still be going? She worried that she might have put him off her completely. He probably thought that she was far too much of an emotional wreck, probably a liability. He surely wouldn’t want to hang out with her now? She wouldn’t blame him.

  No, no, no. Enough men. Enough getting involved.

  Sophie threw off her blankets and got out of bed with a new, determined resolution. Nathan was not the sort of guy she was looking for. Too good looking. Too much of a player. In fact, he was the very opposite of the kind of guy she wanted. So they’d kissed. So what? She tried to gain control of her thoughts. She meant what she’d told him last night. She was done with men. She was done with being treated like shit and taken for a mug.

  Her interest in Nathan was purely physical. The man was a freaking sex god, if the moans she heard from his flat were to be believed. There was no way she was going to be able to overlook that, but he wasn’t the kind of person she needed in her life romantically.

  So she figured she'd let him instruct her in his ways, teach her how to meet guys without getting attached and surely after a while, she’d become used to his hotness. No more dwelling on that kiss. No more regretting that it didn’t lead to sex because she'd turned him down.r />
  How he’d been last night had surprised her, to say the least. Once she’d pushed his lips from her mind, she was left with curious intrigue. She’d been wrong about him. Or at the very least she hadn’t had the whole picture. Guilt wormed its way into her heart.

  Yes, the man was a walking, talking orgasm and he had a lot of female company. But maybe the reason she’d always loathed him had nothing to do with him at all. Maybe it was because she saw the appeal and hated it. Hated that she was weak. Just like every other female on the planet, she recognized the alpha male and she wanted some of what he had to offer.

  So much for being a feminist.

  Shit, did she even know what that was? Yes, he was a total pain in the arse, but he also had a heart hiding in there under all those pheromones. And she felt a little guilty as she remembered how cold she’d been toward him.

  Last night, he’d been really sweet. He’d stood up for her, tried to cheer her up. Then he’d kissed her and promised her body an orgasm so good she might become an addict. No. Do not think about that.

  Last night, Nathan had been there for her, even though she’d thought their dislike of each other was mutual. If he hadn’t have been there, if he hadn’t met her and offered a friendly drink, she knew she’d have spent the entire night crying. It was time to admit that she just may have been wrong about him.

  12

  Nathan

  Nathan woke with a smile ... and a hard-on. Thank you, Sophie. Apparently, the cold shower last night hadn’t helped. Nor had the two times he’d jerked himself off just thinking about her tongue sliding over his.

  Careful, he warned himself. This was unfamiliar territory. He didn’t dwell on women. That was a habit that didn’t get him anywhere. So why her? He’d kissed quite possibly well over a hundred women. But one taste of neighbor Sophie and his damned dick was on mutiny? He knew himself well enough to be wary of the newfound fondness he had for his neighbor. His parents had well and truly put him off of meaningful connections for the rest of his life.

  After another quick, cold shower that didn’t seem to work, he grabbed his laptop and quickly checked his email, throwing himself into his work with gusto. While he may be the product of a man who had taught him that relationships could dissolve to nothing and be based on lies and deception, the old man had also taught him that hard work could reap rewards that felt sturdier and more fulfilling than devoting your heart and affections to someone who would, ultimately, throw it back in your face.

  Pretend all you want. You are your father's son.

  He managed to pass the rest of the day without one thought about Sophie. Okay, maybe one or two, but he’d successfully shut them down hard. However, the moment he shut his laptop, she was the first thing that popped into his head and she didn’t leave. And hello permanent hard-on once again.

  It’s just because I’m supposed to be coaching her tonight, he reassured himself. Once he’d set her on the right track, once he’d helped her to protect herself from wankers in the future, he would be able to get himself back in the zone. Back to his phone book of fun. He smiled, excited about his little project with her.

  Nathan

  Later that night, at seven, Nathan crossed the hallway and knocked hard on her door. “Turn that bloody music down,” he joked when she answered.

  Sophie grinned and then frowned. “What are you doing here so early? I haven’t even showered yet.”

  Nathan barged past her and into her flat. He walked into the middle of her lounge and looked around. The more normal he acted, the sooner they could both forget that he knew how she tasted. “I think my place might be bigger than yours,” he observed casually.

  Sophie shook her head as she followed him. “Of course. You have the big one.”

  “That’s what she said.” Nathan laughed at her unintended pun, not caring if she thought it was immature. She rolled her eyes, but there was a smile playing on her lips.

  “Stop it,” she warned. “You have the bigger flat because I would have to work ten jobs to afford that one. Besides, this one is huge. Far too huge for one person to live in really.” A frown crossed her face briefly. “What is it that you do again? How come you can afford that place just for you to rattle around in? No wonder you have so much company over.”

  He chose to ignore her first questions and simply answer her statement. There would be plenty of time for him to talk about himself later.

  “You’ll have plenty of company here soon. I’m ready to train you for Operation Good Times. Now, get yourself in the shower. I’ve come early on purpose. The change of attitude starts before we even go out, so I’m here to psyche you up for it.”

  She opened her mouth as if to argue and then it seemed she thought better of it. “So I guess we’re really doing this, huh?”

  Nathan took her shoulders, spun her around and gave her a gentle push in the direction of her bathroom. “We are. Now go and get ready.”

  As she closed the door behind her, he tried to banish the image of her wet, naked body, just a wall away from where he was standing. Never mind the fact that he’d been staring at her lips the whole time they’d been talking, that kiss not as far from his mind as it should have been. And he really wanted to know if she remembered him too.

  13

  Sophie

  Sophie felt the eyes of every single woman in the bar fall upon her. Not first, of course. No, first they all turned to look at Nathan. Then, they fell to her as if to survey what it took to have a man like that on your arm. She tried to suppress her smug look, but it felt pretty good to be the envy of everybody in there.

  Nathan, of course, was oblivious to it. Sophie figured that he’d probably become desensitized to all the attention over the years. He just strode right up to the bar and ordered her drink for her.

  She would have protested his dominance, except that he ordered exactly what she would have ordered herself. Pulling out a stool, Nathan gestured for her to sit. She perched on the chair opposite him, sipped her gin and tonic and marveled at the man who consistently kept surprising her. He was commanding without being overpowering and gentlemanly without being condescending. What he is, is a sexy enigma. Why in the hell is he spending his time helping you?

  Since he’d shown up without warning at her door, neither of them had mentioned the kiss. She hadn’t wanted to bring it up for fear of making things awkward. Not that she truly believed that Nathan would be remotely phased by it if she had.

  It was more embarrassment on her part. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that she was making a big deal over something that was nothing to him. “So, before you start this bizarre tutorial of yours, why don’t you tell me first why you were on that guest list of potential investors for my client’s event?” She leaned forward, close to his face. “Who exactly are you, Nathan Windsor?”

  It was the first time she’d noticed his confident and sturdy eye contact waver. It was so quick. If she hadn’t been so close to him it would have been imperceptible, but the flicker of uncertainty had definitely been there.

  Nathan sat back in his seat, a small frown marring his perfect face, and took a long drink before replying.

  He sighed. “My family owns Windsor Corp. Up until a year ago, I was acting president.”

  “What happened a year ago?”

  He studied her and swallowed. “I walked away from the company the night I met you at Thrive.”

  Sophie's mouth fell open and she flushed crimson red. “When did you finally remember?”

  Nathan narrowed his gaze. “When did you remember?”

  “The moment you moved in. But you didn't recognize me. So, no point bringing it up.”

  Nathan cursed under his breath. “I suppose there is no point telling you I'm a wanker. In my defense though, your hair is different and you never wear it down.”

  Self-consciously, Sophie ran a hand through her hair. “Arsehole didn't like the red or my hair out.”

  “What? He's sexy intolerant or someth
ing? There are little blue pills for that now.”

  She blinked, then a laugh bubbled out. “Sexy intolerant?”

  He grinned. “Yep.”

  “I was irritated you didn't remember.”

  His gaze met hers. “I wish I had remembered. Please tell me it wasn't that wanker you were waiting on.”

  She winced. “One and the same. I've been an idiot for a long damn time.”

  She needed to get his intense scrutiny off of her.

  “Do you mind me asking what you and your dad fell out about then?”

  He shook his head. “Let’s just call it irreconcilable differences.”

  He’d hidden his notoriety quite well, she thought. Not the money so much. Being as rich as he was came with tells: the flat that cost more to rent in one month than most people earned in two years, the accent that dripped of private school, etc. That kind of infinite wealth was hard to disguise, and she didn’t feel as though Nathan had tried to per say. But he was guarding something closer to his chest, and she was dying to know what it was.

  Nathan

  Nathan exhaled, unable to quite believe that he was about to spill everything to this woman. In spite of himself, he found that he actually wanted to tell her everything. There’d never been much of an opportunity for him to offload to anyone before. Sophie made him feel so comfortable, like he could trust her. Careful Nathan, he warned himself.

  “I don’t really want to get too deep; we are supposed to be having fun here,” he said. “But basically, my dad when I was growing up was a serial cheater. Swore he’d change, then would do it again. It killed my mum. Finally, she walked out. Just had enough, you know?”

  “I can understand that.”

  “He was a complete twat to her. She died about six months after she left. Took a bunch of pills.”

  “Shit, Nathan. I’m so sorry.”

  He swallowed the well of emotion. If he didn't let himself feel, that shit couldn’t hurt right? “Thanks. I was nine at the time and pretty messed up. But eventually things changed.”

  Nathan took a moment to sip some of his scotch. More than anything, he wanted to keep things lighthearted. He had built his walls and he liked them fine where they were. But Sophie was quiet. Patient. Kind. And out of nowhere he found himself talking.