Big Ben Read online

  To the left was what the family used as their receiving room. It was more intimate than their ballroom. The furniture was plush and designer. Many pieces were handcrafted. Every five years or so the décor would change to keep up with the times. The Van Linsteds couldn’t be behind the times in any way.

  I grabbed a scotch and headed for the balcony. Now that the ritual was done, senior brothers weren’t required to stay. One more hour and I could head back to the city. I hated the fucking Van Linsted estate.

  We’d been dragged there for workshops and to be inducted into the brotherhood of the Elite properly. I’d been tattooed there, lost my friend there, and I had also been tortured there. Induction was only the first step.

  After you celebrated becoming a brother was when the real work began. They had trained us like we were military. Deprived us of food and sleep, preparing us for the harsh realities of the world outside. ‘Molded us into gentlemen,’ they said. Refined us to be strategists. Prepared us to be leaders. And I wanted to burn it all to the ground.

  When I thought back to it, I thought it was absolutely insane some of the things they’d made us do. We’d only been kids.

  It was hard to not wonder what would have happened if Toby had lived. I tried to shrug it off, but then the hairs on the back of my neck prickled, not so much for danger but with awareness, and I asked, “How long have you been standing there, mate?”

  Bridge sauntered over. “I knew I’d find you out here.”

  “Where are the others?”

  “East is involved in a tight conversation with his father. Drew is enjoying the ass kissing of the new recruits. Why does no one understand that when free booze is offered, you need to temper yourself because you don’t know what’s coming next?”

  I shrugged. “Because everyone loves a party, and no one ever thinks they’ll have to pay for it.”

  “I feel bad for them. They have no idea what they’re in for.”

  “We certainly didn’t.”

  He shook his head. “No, we didn’t, did we?”

  I turned to him, watching as he lit up his cigar. “Do you regret this?”

  He shrugged. “Oh, I hate every single one of these fuckers, aside from you lot. But I’m not an idiot. I know that as much as we aimed to build London Lords without them, the skills that they taught us got us where we are now. So I can’t say I regret it.”

  I turned back to stare over the expanse of grounds lit by the crystal lights to give atmosphere.

  “Yeah, well, I think we would have made it on our own.” I drained my scotch, letting the burn warm me from the inside as it hit my gut. “You ever think about him?”

  He cleared his throat. “Every fucking day.”

  “Yeah. Me too.” I put the glass down and turned to him. “I’ve had enough. I’m heading back to the city. Are you riding with me or with East?”

  “I’ll come with you. Let’s tell him we’re leaving.”

  I nodded. Starting a business with your best mates had its advantages. You become tighter than brothers. That was how both Bridge and I knew immediately that East needed a rescue.

  It was in the tightness of his jaw, the stiffness of his shoulders as he spoke to what appeared to be an older version of him. Same face, but with salt and pepper hair and lines around his eyes. He hated his father. And he wasn’t alone. The old man had never gotten over that East was more successful than he was. He’d never gotten over the fact that East hadn’t needed a single dime from him. What was it like to be jealous of your own son?

  Things were difficult with my father too. He’d never really acknowledged my existence or wanted me. Oh, and he liked my girlfriends a little too much. He wasn’t the kind of father I needed, and I wasn’t the kind of son he wanted. It was tit for tat.

  But Bridge had it the worst. His father, even on days like this, refused to acknowledge him from across the room. Refused to say that Bridge Edgerton was his son. Lord Edgerton’s bastard child. The blight on the Edgerton name. He’d lost it when back in school Bridge had decided to use his name. He’d even come to Eton and caused a stir.

  He didn’t bother speaking to Bridge. Instead, he’d screamed at the headmaster for an hour about how lawyers couldn’t be allowed on the campus to speak to his child without his permission.

  Headmaster Tellerman had brilliantly said, “Well, sir, either he’s your child or he’s not.” And he had been listed on Bridge’s birth certificate, so Bridge could take his name.

  I’d always thought it was the most brilliant ‘fuck you’ to a parent I’d ever seen, forcing him to do the one thing he didn’t want to.

  I marched over and forced a smile on my face to address Lord Hale. “Sir, it’s been a long time.”

  He grinned at me. “Covington. You look more and more like your mother every day.”

  Inwardly, I winced.

  I hated that all those people had known my mother better than I had. After all, she’d been a fixture at my father’s side until she passed. There were people there who knew her longer than I did, and that ate at me. “Thank you, sir. Ah, we’re going to borrow East here for a minute.”

  “Yeah, of course. East, I’ll have my secretary call you.”

  East rolled his eyes. “If you must.” He turned to face us. “It took you lads long enough.”

  I shrugged. “Had to get a drink, sorry. I needed to burn out the taste of all this bullshit.”

  He snorted at that. “Are we leaving? Because I’m ready.”

  I nodded. “Yup. I’ll drive.”

  We didn’t even bother greeting anyone else or saying goodbye as we headed toward the door. I met Drew’s gaze and inclined my head, and he put up a finger. He’d better hurry, because we were in no mood to wait.

  Drew had a very different relationship with his father and the Elite. As much as he missed Toby too, he had leaned into this life. It was what he knew. He didn’t hide from his family. And to be fair, they didn’t treat him like shit. Lord Wilcox was decent. He gave to charities, with not only his money, but more importantly, his time. Every summer, he dragged Drew and his sister to different parts of the world that needed help and made them use their hands and get to know the people. I’d always liked him.

  As we exited the estate with Drew bringing up the rear, I could feel myself starting to breathe again. The tension started to ease between my shoulder blades, the knots coming out. Once a month, I had to put up with this bullshit. Tonight was the initiation. The next would just be a meeting. I could deal with that. But the initiations were always the worst because there were too many memories associated with them.

  We rounded the grounds, our feet making crunching sounds on the gravel as we chatted and headed toward the valet. To the left, moonlight glistened off the water in the pool and the soft trickle told me the infinity pool was cycling.

  A shadow darted into my vision and I frowned, turning to get a better look as it vanished behind a wall of arborvitae. “What the hell? Did you see that?”

  Bridge frowned. “Yep. Female, maybe a maid?”

  East shifted on his feet, the gravel shifting with him. “She’s running, so either she did something bad or something bad is about to be done to her.”

  Drew joined us then. “Lads. What are we doing?”

  I sighed. “Apparently playing hero.”

  The four of us headed into the maze. The arborvitae were taller than I was and completely obscured us. Bridge called out. “Hello? Are you okay in here?”

  When we were completely cocooned by hedges around the next bend, a slim figure dressed in all black stepped out.

  I knew her. “Emma?”

  Ben

  Emma Varma dragged off her hoodie, and her dark hair spilled out over her shoulders. “If it isn’t the London Lords.”

  Bridge stared at her. “Jesus Christ, is that you?” His usually sure voice wavered.

  She lifted her chin in greeting and tucked her raven hair behind her ears. She met his gaze for a long moment, before turn
ing to give East a head nod.

  East, not usually one to hide his emotions wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. “Oh my God. Little Tobes.”

  “You big oaf, put me down. I’m not here for a leisurely visit.” East gave her one more big squeeze then released her.

  Drew was uncharacteristically more reserved than usual. And well, I wanted to hug her. I wanted to hold her, but the fear and regret had me by the bollocks. There were too many memories. Emma had grown into a stunning woman with soulful big eyes, but there was something about her that reminded me too damn much of Toby.

  I cleared my throat. “Ems, what are you doing here?”

  She turned to glare back at the parapets. “You think I don’t know it’s initiation night? Ten bloody years. Of course I know the significance of today.”

  I rolled my shoulders, tension knotting between my shoulder blades. “Still doesn’t explain what the hell you’re doing here. You can’t be seen here.”

  Her brows snapped down. “I’m walking into that party, and I’m going to confront all of those assholes.”

  Bridge stepped forward then. I was certain he was about to wrench me out of the way to get to her, but East stepped in. “Ems, we miss him too, but you can’t go in there.”

  “Are you fucking mad? You put yourself in the crosshairs if you walk in there. You’re going to risk that tight arse, for what, the satisfaction of yelling at them? Jesus, I knew you were a child, but this really takes the cake.” Bridge’s voice was barely more than a growl as he spoke to her. The two of them had never particularly gotten along, but this level of anger and tension was uncharacteristic for Bridge.

  “Well, someone has to do something. You lot have clearly forgotten all about him. And I’m not an idiot. I’m not going there without a plan, and I’m not leaving empty handed.”

  Bridge started for her again, but this time I stepped between them. “Emma, not one of us has ever forgotten him.”

  “Bullshit. I mean, look at you. In ten years, you are the richest arseholes in London. You, like that lot in there, forgot him and trampled on his memory. Tell me, did they even say anything about him? Remember him in any way?”

  Cold insidious dread wrapped around my spine. She was right. Not one of them had uttered a single word about Toby. It was like he was lost in the annals of forgotten brothers.

  Bridge’s voice was tight when he spoke. “So, what? You’re going to accuse them of forgetting him? Then what? It’s a flimsy plan, Ems.”

  “God, you still think I’m some idiot kid?” She tapped the hoodie’s zipper. “It’s a camera. What’s the one thing a secret society doesn’t want? Exposure. The whole lot of them. It’s one thing to hear rumors of a society. It’s another to have photo evidence.”

  Drew’s voice was thin when he spoke. “You wouldn’t. There’s a reason it’s secret, Ems.”

  “You think I give a damn? Those arseholes are responsible for my brother’s death. I’m not going to let them get away with moving on like nothing happened. All of you have moved on like he was never fucking here. But I don’t get to move on. Why do you?”

  Those three words. Why do you? Wielded with the precision of a fiery sword. They mirrored my own thoughts for the last ten years. We’d all moved on. His friends. Those supposed to keep him safe. We got to move forward with our days. Build, grow, leave legacies. The kind of legacies Toby should have left behind.

  Why do you?

  I cleared my throat. “Emma, you know we can’t let you walk in there. Those men, they’re dangerous. And ruthless. Many of whom will think nothing of coming after you or your mother and ruining your lives.”

  Fire lit her gaze. “My life was ruined ten years ago. I’m a walking shell. I have nothing to lose. Those men in there, those titans of industry, masters of politics, they were supposed to keep my brother safe in the fold. Instead, they stood by and did nothing as he fought for his life. And you lot watched as he died. So I give zero fucks about my life.”

  The set of her jaw told me she was serious. She was going to implode her life. And I couldn’t let her do that. “I’m sorry Ems, we can’t let you go in there.”

  “You certainly can’t stop me.” She lifted her chin.

  “Emma, we all loved Tobes. I know he would want us to protect you. If you think we’re letting you walk in there, you’re sorely mistaken. Now come with us, we’ll get you out of here safely.”

  “The hell I—”

  She didn’t get to finish because Bridge scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

  “Well that’s one way of handling it,” I muttered under my breath.

  Emma wasn’t inclined to go quietly, though, and she kicked up a hell of a storm. He smacked a hand on her arse and growled something to her that made her shut up.

  Running a hand through my hair, I tried to think. “Bridge, take East’s car and get her the fuck out of here. Drew, see if you can get her car and drive it home for her. East, let’s do a check and make sure she’s not on any security cameras. We’ll reconvene back at East’s.”

  Just like that, everyone took their marching orders. After all, I’d been giving them for a damn long time. It was my fault we were all here. And Emma was right. We were all responsible.

  When Bridge turned, Emma lifted her head and glowered at me. “You have Toby’s blood on your hands, just like they do.”

  I knew, deep down in my bones, she wasn’t wrong.

  Ben

  Two hours later we arrived at East’s. One look at my mates and I knew they were feeling what I was feeling. Raw. Exhausted. Maybe a little ill.

  East and I had arrived first, and East had worked his magic wiping her from the feeds at the estate. Turns out someone had taught Emma how to work in the shadows. Only two cameras had caught her, and my guess was they only caught her because they didn’t run on the main feed.

  Where the fuck had she learned to do that?

  It was after East rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, “I cleaned all the feeds,” that Bridge and Drew walked through the doors.

  My gaze flickered to Bridge, who sported a tight jaw and a scratch down his cheek. When I lifted a brow, he only shrugged.

  Drew caught my gaze. “He wouldn’t tell me how he got that either. My guess is Emma put up a hell of a fight.”

  I drained my glass of Lagavulin 16, the amber liquid burning all the way down. “Any of you seen her since?”

  East answered first. “I used to go ‘round the house regularly. But then Pamma Auntie moved them to America. What was that, five years ago? I haven’t seen her since.”

  Drew shook his head. “No.” He cleared his throat. “It was, uh, too painful.”

  I was going to be sick. The vomit threatened, and I had to ease down onto one of the leather chairs, dragging in long deep breaths.

  Bridge’s voice was low. “I check on them regularly. But since Emma told me to fuck right off, I haven’t seen either of them.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. We’d all failed her and her mother. Emma’s words rattled around in my skull. Why do you?

  “She was right. We’d all walked away. Toby had died, and we’d all abandoned her.” My gut knotted and bile threatened. “He was the best of us. He should have been by our sides. Instead, we all moved on.”

  Drew decided to forgo the glass and drank the scotch straight from the bottle as he threw himself, still suited and booted, across East’s couch. “Hard to pretend all is right with the world with the evidence sitting in front of us,” he muttered.

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Nothing has been right with the world since he died. Van Linsted was on overwatch that night. He should have protected him or something. Instead of facing repercussions for failing at his one job, he’s in line to be fucking Director Prime. How is that for justice?”

  “Fuck!” Bridge threw his glass, and it shattered against the wall.

  East scowled. “Oi! What the fuck, mate?”

  Bridge rounded
on him. “Fucking Van Linsted. Bram always said if he had his way Toby and I would never have been Elite. And then he got his wish.” For the first time since I’d known him, Bridge was well and truly shattered. Looked like I wasn’t the only one gutted by seeing Emma again.

  I scrubbed my hand down my face. “We failed him too. I pushed all of you to say yes. I was the one who saw family and power and legacy. Fucking bullshit. We’re just as culpable as they were. And to make it worse, we all conveniently walked away from the Varmas.”

  “So what do we do now? Emma is going to keep trying to get to the Elite members. And she’s going to get hurt in the process,” East said.

  He was right. Emma would keep going after them. And I could give two fucks if the Elite burned. They talked so much shit about brotherhood and family and bonds. But it was all lies. “We show her we’re doing something about it.”

  Drew sat up. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, Bram Van Linsted has been living the charmed life. The life Toby should have had. If someone doesn’t do something, he’ll be the next Director Prime. He stood there and did nothing to help Toby, and then our so-called brothers allowed Toby to be forgotten like he was nothing. So we’re going to be the something that stops him.”

  East sat up straighter, the moonlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows glinting off his cufflinks. “So what are you saying?”

  I met each of their gazes. “We’re the something that’s going to stop Bram Van Linsted. We’re the something that’s going to burn the Elite to the ground if we have to. For Toby.”