Mr. Dirty Read online

  She blinked rapidly. "Stop being a spoilsport. I'm not trying to rope you down. I just miss you, that's all. How's this: why don't you go ahead and give me a call in the next couple of weeks or so? I can maybe remind you of why we’re so good together."

  It was official the old Nathan Windsor was dead. He’d been body snatched. Because the suggestion of being with her again left him cold. It was simple. She wasn’t Sophie. And there would be no gently letting down. It was going to have to happen here. "Actually, Ilsa our arrangement no longer works for me."

  Her eyes went wide and filled with tears. Shit. He was not equipped for tears. And he saw now, she had hoped to parlay their casual situation into making him her rich husband. Sorry, someone already beat you to it.

  "Oh, come on Nathan, don't be like that." She turned to Garrett. "Tell him to calm down. We're just having fun. I'm teasing him."

  Garrett shook his head. "Leave me out of this."

  She turned back to Nathan and looped her hands around his neck, bringing her lips dangerously close. He pulled back, reaching behind his neck to unclasp her hands. “That’s enough, Ilsa.” He didn’t want her hands on him. At the same time, he didn’t want to physically harm her.

  Unfortunately, she took his gentleness as playing hard to get and she jumped in his lap. “Nathan, are you really going to tell me you don't want me? You and I have a good thing going."

  “No. We don’t.” He applied more pressure to her fingers and cursed with she winced, but he managed to restraint both of her hands together and angle his head away. If he pushed her he was afraid she’d fall on those teetering heels of hers. “Not interested, Ilsa. Now, get—”

  He felt it then. A hot lick of desire went up his spine. Immediately, his gaze sought out Sophie. She was here, and they—

  "Ilsa, get off." He set her away from him as gently as he could, but she still went sprawling. And worse, Sophie was already flying out the door. "Garrett, get the bill. Deal with Ilsa. I have to go." He helped Ilsa to her feet, then passed her on to Garret and hustled for the door.

  Garrett looked towards the door and shook his head. "Hurry, mate."

  "On it." The panic sat and enclosed around him. He had to get to Sophie.

  Oh shit, he had fucked up so badly. What the fuck had he been letting Ilsa get so close? He'd seen Sophie a moment too late, as he'd been in the midst getting rid of Ilsa. What had she seen? Had she thought … ? Not that it matters because you two aren't together. What you have is casual. Or was it? Of course, it was completely casual. Oh yeah? Then why are you panicked right now?

  He'd run out of the club after her, but she'd gotten in a cab immediately. He'd had to wait an additional ten minutes. Of course he kept calling, but she kept ending the call. Damn it. He so fucked up. How the hell was he ever going to explain that he hadn't been up to anything with Ilsa? That he'd been breaking off their semi-casual situation because he wanted Sophie to take him seriously? Shit, he wanted her to more than take him seriously. He wanted her. Pressing, rude, or whatever, she was the one he wanted. When he finally reached the flat, he circumvented the cue of partygoers at the club downstairs and went to the side entrance. He didn't bother to wait for the elevator but instead took the stairs two at a time, running all the way to her flat.

  He banged on it hard. No response. He could sort of hear voices inside like she had the television on. Damn it. She wasn't going to open the door. "Damn it Sophie, it wasn't what you thought. Let me in."

  It took several moments until she finally answered the door. Her face was devoid of makeup and she’d already changed into her sweatpants and a T-shirt. He was so relieved to see her. “Sophie, look, I know what it looked like.”

  She sighed. Exhaustion made her look tired. “Nathan, it doesn’t matter. Honestly. I screwed up. I know it. This is my fault. What is happening is my responsibility.”

  He frowned. “What the hell? Sophie, listen, I know I cocked up, okay? I’m sorry. It wasn’t what it looked like. I swear. I don’t know what happened. I just—”

  “I know what happened. She was beautiful. Completely into you, and easy— which is fine, because you made it perfectly clear what your ideal is. I was the one who messed up here. I knew that. I accept it.”

  He searched her face and he wished he could make her understand. He wished he could make her see. “You didn’t mess up, Sophie. I did. From the beginning, I didn’t want something casual. I—”

  “You have a funny way of showing it. And I know who you are. Even if I thought I was developing feelings for you, I know who you are. You have always been clear about that. I’m the one who didn’t listen. Instinct. Intuition. All of it. I just—I didn’t listen. And right now, that hurts. It was a painful lesson to learn, but I have learned it now.”

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This was going all wrong. “I am sorry. She was all over me. I pushed her off. Please, let’s just talk about this. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Lose me? You and I both know what this is. We were friends who fucked. And now we’re not.”

  His brows snapped down. “We’re not friends, or we’re not fucking anymore?”

  “I think it’s probably better if we’re not friends.” And then she quietly shut the door in his face.

  In a span of seconds, he’d lost her.

  24

  Sophie

  Gemma answered on the first ring. “Hey ya love. How come you’re not all loved up with your not-quite-boyfriend?”

  Sophie swiped the tears off her cheek with the back of her hand. “Because my not-quite-boyfriend was all over some blonde today. So that’s done.”

  Gemma cursed. “I’ll be there in a tick.”

  Her best friend wasn’t kidding. Less than ten minutes later, she was knocking on Sophie’s door. When Sophie opened it, Gemma immediately wrapped her in the warm cocoon of a hug. “That twat. I’ll kill him. Is he home?” she started to yell but Sophie stopped her.

  “Stop it. I don’t—I don’t want him to know I’m upset. I just—I knew it was a mistake, and I did it anyway. Now—” Her shoulders shook and the tears just flowed. “Now it’s all fucked up and I feel like I have lost my best friend, and it’s awful.”

  Gemma snapped her hands onto her hips. “First of all, you haven’t lost your best friend; I’m standing right here. And I resent the fact that he thought he could take my place. Second of all, you know you can do better than him, right? I mean, yeah, he’s fit and all that, but there are better guys out there. Ones that deserve you. Ones that will treat you like a queen. Fuckwits like Christopher and Nathan can go eat a bowl of dicks. Okay?”

  Sophie nodded trying to convince herself that Gemma was right. She didn’t need Nathan. She was just fine without him.

  Why did this hurt so badly? It never ceased to amaze her how that horrible pit-in-the-stomach-feeling felt like. Like she was falling off a cliff and there was no way to stop it.

  “I just—I don’t know. I made a mistake. It was my fault. I—I convinced myself that I didn’t care, that I could just do this fun thing, and apparently I can’t because, God it hurts so bad.”

  Gemma set about with the heartache remedy. She had Sophie ensconced on the couch with a duvet wrapped around her and Downton Abbey on the telly. And then she brought over the wine, the corkscrew, a tub of cookies and cream ice cream, and teaspoons. “You and I will get through this together. Now, tell me what the hell happened? The last time I saw the two of you, I would have sworn he was in love with you. I mean, just the way he looked at you. Every second you left the table, his eyes tracked where you were going. This doesn’t make sense.”

  “That’s just the thing, right? He’s so charming and so good you believe it. You’d completely buy his whole act. And there I was buying everything. Just like he warned me against. I mean, the guy gave me the blueprint and told me not to fall for it. He told me not to get caught up. And what did I do? I got caught up. I seriously need to have my head examined.”

  “Now love, you don’t nee
d your head examined. I mean, who isn’t going to fall for the gorgeous, charming bloke who acts like he absolutely adores you? I’d have been victim too.”

  “The operative word there being ‘acts like.’”

  Gemma took a swig of the wine because after all, who needed glasses? “Okay, hear me out, but maybe it wasn’t what you thought, you know, with the girl. You saw how angry he was about what Christopher did to you. And you know that that’s his trigger. I honestly am not sure if he would really be trying it on with someone after he told you to come out.”

  “I didn’t really give him a chance to explain because even though that’s his huge problem and it hurts seeing him like that, the real problem is that it felt that way. That it hurts so much. If that’s not a reason to stop this whole scenario, then I don’t know what is.”

  Gemma nodded. “I hear you. It’s just—You guys seemed to be genuinely happy together, like two peas in a pod. You finish each other’s sentences even. I know you’ve become very close. I’m sorry it hurt so much.”

  “Yeah, me too. And now, I have to endure living across the hall from him and hearing about all his sexual adventures. This is going to be fantastic. I’ll be bloody torturing myself for the next six months.”

  Gemma put the bottle down and glared at her. “Oh no, you shall not stay in this flat and wallow. We are going to go out. As you know, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. So that very cute guy that gave you his number? We’re going to call him.”

  Sophie shifted uncomfortably in the couch. “I don’t know. He did text about meeting at the bar, but I think maybe I should have a break from men, you know?”

  “I hear you, but first you get over the sex god across the hall and then you take a break from men. You can’t try and go cold turkey like that. It, like, breaks your vagina or something.”

  Sophie sputtered a laugh. “Are you serious right now? It’s going to break my vagina?”

  Gemma nodded sagely. “I’ve heard that’s how it happens. You just got to get this one to add to your system. Shag some new bloke. And once Arsehole Neighbor across the Hall isn’t the last guy you shag, then it won’t hurt so bad to see him.”

  Sophie frowned at her best friend. Maybe that wasn’t the worst idea Gemma had had after all.

  Why was she shaking? You knew the deal. You knew this was casual. You two don't mean anything to each other.

  The problem was she believed that they were at least friends. He was supposed to tell her first. Supposed to let her know. Liar. She started to believe that something was happening with them. That things weren't just friendly or casual. She'd gone ahead and fallen in love with the player. That's why this hurt so badly. That's why this felt like her gut had been ripped out. It hurt, and it was her own fault.

  You should know better than anyone. Just because somebody says the right things doesn't mean you can believe them. There was a reason she didn't date guys like Nathan. There was a reason she didn't date guys that were too good-looking for words. There would always be someone more beautiful waiting in the wings, someone else to take their attention away. There would always be some reason they would disappoint you.

  The first, hot splash of a tear fell on her cheek and she swiped it away angrily. No, she was not going to cry.

  She made a mistake. Everyone made mistakes, her included. She could remedy this mistake. She'd already started making changes in her life. It was fine. She knew what to do. She'd already taken the first steps today. Her whole afternoon had been great. And of course, like a fool, the first person she'd wanted to tell was Nathan. That was her bad. She started to rely on him. Well, no more. She knew better.

  “I was so stupid.”

  Gemma rubbed her back. “No, you weren’t. You were just falling for him. That’s all. It’s okay. He’s just not the settling down type. There are plenty of blokes who are. What happened to that one who chatted you up the night we all went out? He was well fit. Besides, it’s better that you try dating someone else any way. After all that shit with your dad, and that wanker Christopher and now Nathan. I think maybe you just need a bloke who’s really into you and will shower you with affection right now. You know someone who’s more into you than you are into him.”

  Sophie swallowed hard. She did not want to think about going out with anyone else at the moment. She was really off men. But Gemma had a point. She’d had a run of bad luck. “Not going to happen. Look, I have a solution to my bad luck. I’m going to join a convent.”

  Gemma coughed. “No can do, love. They won’t let you sneak battery operated boyfriend into the nunnery. Though I’m sure the sisters could use it. You’re just reeling from a shitty situation. No need to be extreme.”

  “I’m not being extreme. I mean, I keep thinking I’ve found these great blokes. Hell, Christopher was perfect on paper. See how well that turned out. And Nathan, well he was just Nathan. So here I am again. Alone.”

  Gemma gave her a gentle squeeze. “Right. That’s enough of the pity party. I’m going to solve this problem.”

  “I already told you, castrating him would only offer me temporary solace.”

  “No, better than that. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

  “The last thing I need is another dick in my life.”

  “I disagree. That’s exactly what you need.” Gemma grabbed her mobile and Sophie tried to wrestle it back, but Gemma was deceptively strong. She put the phone on speaker as it rang. The two rapid rings followed by silence, then another ring, when a man on the other end finally answered, he sounded like he was in the car. “Hullo? Sophie?”

  Oh shit. She’d called fit Adam. Sophie was going to kill her. Right after the ground opened and swallowed her whole.

  With a glare for her bestie, she said, "Hi, Adam. How’s it?"

  “Great now. Listen I was just thinking of you actually. Wondering when would be not too soon to ask you for drinks.”

  “I uh—" she was on the verge of declining when Gemma glared at her. Her bestie did have a point. It was just a drink. She could do that. Besides, anything was better than sitting around waiting for the nonstop sex party to start again. “Yeah—of course,” she sputtered. “When?”

  "Tomorrow night? The bar where we met? It’s Sunday, it’ll be quieter.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “It’s a date.” He was silent for a moment, then added, “Sophie, I’m glad you called.”

  She ignored that little voice in her head that told her she was making a mistake. Anything had to be better than how she was feeling now.

  25

  Sophie

  The next night, Sophie still wasn’t sure she’d made the right decision, but she was trying to go with it.

  “I’m really excited you gave me a chance. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d call.”

  Sophie shifted on her boot-clad feet. Adam, he was nice. He seemed really cool actually. And to be fair, she didn’t really have anything else going on. So, it didn’t hurt to catch a drink with him.

  “Well, you were very sweet. So, I figured why not?”

  “Well, I’m glad. You want to grab a drink here before we go on down?” He shrugged. “I figured instead of just drinks, we’d get dinner too.”

  “Yeah, I don’t really have anything up here except for cheap wine. I hope that’s okay.”

  He shrugged. “To be perfectly honest, I know nothing about wine. I’m always amused by, you know, these twats you hear on a date waxing poetic about what wine is better with what and what you must have and all that bullshit. I honestly don’t like wine. I’m not really a beer drinker either. If I’m drinking, it’ll be liquor, but you can’t really tell your mates you’re not going to sit and have a Guinness with them.”

  She laughed. “How many pints have you sacrificed yourself for just to appear cool with your mates?”

  He shook his head as he laughed. “Far too many.”

  “Let me just grab my—”

&n
bsp; There was a knock at the door and she jogged to get it. When she opened it, she stopped short. “Nathan, what are you doing here?”

  He shrugged, but his narrow-eyed gaze landed directly on Adam. “Well, I was coming to tell you that there was a leak in one of the pipes. The building manager called me and said we shouldn’t experience any flooding except maybe in the hallway. So, I was coming to notify you of that. I didn’t know you were occupied.”

  Shit. This was hard enough. Why couldn’t she just have made it out of the house without actually having to see him? Well, because the whole make-the-guy-jealous thing, only actually works if he sees who you’re dating. But to be honest, it’s not like she was dating here. She pulled back a little. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

  Adam sauntered over with a wide grin and a cocky swagger. “Mate, I’m Adam.”

  He stuck his hand out to shake Nathan’s and Sophie watched in fascination as they sized each other up.

  Nathan nodded. “I’m Nathan Winsor. Sophie’s … neighbor.”

  They both glared at each other for a moment. Finally, Adam gave Nathan a wide grin. “We’ve actually met before at the bar downstairs. You spilled your drink down my back.”

  Nathan’s gaze narrowed. “Oh right. Wish I could say I was sorry, but you were hitting on my girl.”

  Adam’s grin just stretched across his handsome face. “Is that so? It looks like your girl is going on a date with me tonight. How does that make you feel?”

  Nathan’s jaw ticked.

  “Well, this is fun but Sophie and I have a date. So … ”

  Sophie immediately stepped between the two of them. “Nathan, thank you for letting me know. But I’m afraid we have to get going.”

  “Are you seriously dating this guy?”

  Sophie glared at him, and she refused to acknowledge his question. “Goodbye, Nathan.”

  But Nathan wasn’t having it. When she tried to close the door, he wedged his foot inside the door.

  Sophie met his gaze directly. “Nathan, I need to go now.”