Royal Playboy Page 10

But I couldn't bear to stop touching her, not yet. Just a little bit longer. I'd hold on to heaven before I returned to hell where I belonged. With one hand I gripped her hip, stilling her movements. The other fisted in her hair.

  With a whimper in the back of her throat, she arched her back, rubbing her nipples against my chest. Oh fuck, yes. My hips gave an involuntary jerk and I knew I was going to come if I didn’t stop.

  Despite the overwhelming desire, guilt started its insidious creep through me. She didn't deserve this. The first woman who could arouse me in years. And I was acting like a strung-out addict.

  With a growl, I pushed away from her onto the far end of the couch. My lungs burned, desperate for oxygen. My skin itched, desperate to touch her again. Everything slowed to a stop, and my brain cataloged every single thing about the moment.

  Her legs were slightly parted with her shorts riding up, exposing acres of skin. Her shirt had ridden up past her bottom rib, and I swallowed hard. Another inch and I'd be able to see the underside of her breast. Three more inches and I'd have nipple.

  My cock twitched. Jesus, I wanted to taste her so bad. No. Stop it. You can’t have her. "Fuck. Bollocks. Shit."

  Blinking, she sat up. "I—what was that?"

  I ran my hands through my hair. "I'm a wanker. I had this dream, and you were standing there and…" I let my voice trail. "It won't happen again."

  Who the hell was I kidding? If she was going to move in with me for a couple of weeks, it was bound to happen again unless I got my shit together.

  She swallowed hard and pushed herself to standing. She didn’t say a word as she stalked into the bathroom and closed the door.

  I was never out of control. Why couldn’t I sort myself out with her? The proposal last night had been playing the part. But kissing her, bollocks, that had been the best moment of the night… and the stupidest. She’d tasted so good, so sweet. For days I’d been able to convince myself that I’d imagined how good she tasted that first night. But now I knew I hadn't made it up.

  I stared at the door for several minutes then cursed. I'd almost jeopardized everything, all because I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Get it together, Xan. I needed her. I couldn’t fuck this up.

  Xander

  I may have just pulled this madness off. I surveyed the guests as we milled about the balcony for breakfast. I’d spent the majority of the previous day in meetings with various board members where they’d asked about why I wanted to be on the board. My commitment. Why the work was so important to me, given my career. I’d been as honest as I could be, giving just enough of the truth to be believable. I could hardly tell them I only wanted to expose Alistair.

  While I was busy with meetings, Imani had been lumped with the other plus ones. Charlotte had taken a particular liking to her. Which could be bad or good, depending on how I looked at it. Truth was, I should have been more worried, but that money was as important to her as getting on the board was to me. So I had to hope she gave a good show. By the time I returned to the room at the end of the evening, she was fast asleep.

  It wasn't exactly like I was avoiding her. I was just avoiding being in an enclosed room with her, which was entirely different. After what had happened when she woke me from my dream, I figured it was best to give her a wide berth for a bit.

  We'd do friendly things. I'd show her around Paris. Stay at my flat. It was spacious with two bedrooms. Plenty of room. At the very least I wouldn’t have to hear her soft breathing and wonder about how peaceful she looked in sleep. Or think about how soft her skin was. Or worse, want to touch it again.

  I hated the way she made me lose control. Every time I was around her, I felt like I was spiraling down, about to crash. Then of course I'd kissed her last night and made matters worse. And just like the other night, I'd been ready to have her on the spot. It was as though her lips were my own personal brand of dynamite. I went to sleep still half hard from that kiss. I wasn’t sure what had triggered my nightmare. I was no shrink, but I was pretty sure emotional and physical upheaval didn’t help keep nightmares at bay. I'd need to figure something out very quickly. Otherwise, living together was going to be a big fucking problem, even in a place as big as mine.

  My morning meeting with LeClerc and the rest of the board couldn’t have gone better. The women on the board had been easier to convince than the men. My work spoke for itself. But the tricky part was using the right combination of charm without overdoing it. If I used too much, they'd assume everything Alistair said was truth. If I used too little, they could assume I didn't care enough about the job. If I were going to be the man behind the brand of the trust, I'd need to give a shit and have my mind focused on the right things.

  Imani glanced up in surprise when she saw me at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, Xander. I didn't expect to see you.” Her tongue darted out and moistened her lower lip. “I know we leave in the morning, so I’m taking the chance to see the city. I’ll be back tonight.”

  I shook my head. “We are headed into the city. We’ll stay at my place tonight.”

  “Uh,” she sputtered. “You don’t have to do that. I know you’re busy.”

  “Free as a bird. I finished up my final meeting this morning. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. Unless there’s a reason you don’t want to go to Paris with me?”

  She pressed her lips together firmly. “Nope, nothing at all. Ready when you are.”

  “Great.”

  I’d opted for a car and driver into the city. Driving in Paris required a certain level of insanity and rage, and I wasn’t in the mood today. "What would you like to do first?"

  Her eyes darkened, and her gaze dipped to my lips. If she kept looking at me like that, I was just going to give her what she wanted.

  She shook her head and cleared her throat. "Well, how about the Eiffel Tower?"

  "Do you mind if we do that one tonight when it's all lit up? My flat is right near there. How about Sacré-Coeur? We’ll need to be a little strategic since we only have today."

  "Sure. I’m not fussy. I just want to see it. Lead the way."

  "I figured we could celebrate tonight with dinner?"

  "Celebrate. Right. I take it they gave you the job?"

  "Not yet. They’ll need to take a vote back in London. But thanks to you and whatever you said to Charlotte, it’s looking up. So as soon as we get back, I’ll wire you.”

  “Yeah, just how is that going to work when we get back, exactly? Because Vincent Price back there thinks we live together.”

  The snort of laughter came out of nowhere. Damn, this woman could make me laugh. “You’re right. He does sort of resemble Price. I dunno. You come stay at my place for a couple of weeks. After the next board vote, we’ll have a quiet little breakup. No big deal.”

  “That’s what you said about coming to Paris.”

  Damn, why couldn’t I ever get my words right around her? I’d talked countless women out of their La Perla. Why couldn’t I have a simple conversation? “I guess I did. I’m willing to concede it’s a tad more complicated than I might have suggested.”

  “Just a tad?” Her laugh was incredulous.

  My grin came easy. “A smidge, really.”

  "Can I ask you something?"

  I swallowed hard, pretty sure I wasn’t going to like answering her. "Of course. I'll tell you the truth if I can." The hell I would. The last thing I needed was her any closer to me than she already was.

  "Yesterday, what was the nightmare about? When you kissed me, it was like you were trying to run from something. It seemed almost like you were afraid to touch me."

  I’m terrified you'll find out my secret. Because I know if I touch you the way I want, you'll abandon me eventually. But I couldn’t say any of those things to her, so I settled on, "Because it’s better in the long run for you if I don’t touch you."

  "But you want to?"

  I swallowed, trying desperately to cool off my parched throat. "I think you already know the answer to
that." I was saved from having to delve too deep into that subject by our arrival into the city.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Xander

  After a full day in Paris, I led Imani into my flat around seven. I'd called ahead to my housekeeper to make sure it was clean and dusted and stocked with some food for the night and for breakfast. I’d also had her open all the windows and shutters.

  Imani gasped the moment she stepped into the flat behind me. She'd insisted on carrying some of the bags, but she dropped them in the doorway as she half jogged, half stumbled to the window. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? I’ve completely forgotten about my aching feet because of this view."

  I grinned. The view alone was the sole reason I'd bought the place. It had cost me a fortune, but it was completely worth it. I couldn’t describe how I felt every time I walked into the flat. We were close enough to the Eiffel Tower to have the lights brightly illuminate my living area. I'd kept some of the Parisian charm of the place, like the original wood floor, and I'd rehabbed the chandeliers, but everything else I'd upgraded with modern fixtures.

  Imani didn’t move from the window, so I picked up her bags and carted them with mine into the living room. I might have gone a little overboard with the shopping today. I’d bought her a couple of things to help her look the part. All against her protests, of course. But the few things had quickly become many things. Not that we'd really be hitting up the town that often, but we needed to look the part of a young couple in love, so we’d need to go out. Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

  I shook my head to clear the thought. We'd made a slight deviation from the plan, and I'd yet to course correct. I'd be able to properly manage that once we got back to London. "So it's safe to say the slack-jawed expression is because you like the view."

  She danced giddily in place. "Remind me again why we haven't been staying here since we arrived? I mean this is insane."

  I shrugged. "I used to spend more time here when I was doing fashion shoots. But once I got a more permanent gig at uni, it made sense to be in London more often. I don’t know. I feel more relaxed here. In London I’m usually playing a part. But in Paris, I can just be who I am and not worry about disappointing anybody. This is one of my favorite cities in the world. "

  She chewed her lip as she nodded slowly. "What comes in as a close second?"

  I chewed my lip as I thought it over. "I think New York and Tokyo are in a heated battle for second."

  "I'm surprised you didn’t say London. This is beautiful, but I have a love affair with the queen’s city.”

  I laughed. "Give Paris a proper chance. I thought for sure with this view it would be your favorite."

  “God, it’s so close. But I dunno. There’s just something about London. Maybe because it represents escape for me. And today was such a breakneck pace. My feet might never recover."

  "You’ll be back. Hell, if things go well, I’ll bring you back myself. And I didn't take you to the Eiffel Tower earlier because I wanted you to see it like this first, at night. For most Parisians, it’s a bit of an eyesore, but I personally love it. I'll take you up first thing in the morning if you want, before we head back to the chateau.”

  "Yes, I want. If I’d done nothing else today, this would have been enough."

  "You’re easy to please."

  "Pretty much." She laughed. "Give me bright and shiny any day. It's part of why I started performing on stage. I loved the dance costumes when I was little. I didn’t start acting until I was almost in high school. I was all about the sequins and the glitter."

  I slid a glance to the simple band I'd given her. I would have to replace it with something better when we got back. As part of the charade, of course. "When is your show?" I asked, changing the subject, desperate to get on level ground again.

  "Late May, so six weeks or so. We'll do a special performance at the Old Vic too. There will be casting agents there and representation, so it’s a good chance to get seen."

  "Sounds like a really big deal."

  She nodded, still staring out the window. "It is. I'm scared shitless."

  "I’ve seen you in character. You were bloody amazing."

  Imani ducked her head. “Thank you. I hope I don't disappoint Charles. I know some people didn't want me in the lead.”

  “Wankers, the lot of them. No one who sees you on stage will think you don’t belong there.”

  She ducked her head. "Thank you. That’s probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

  “Sweet. That’s what everyone calls me.” I cocked my head. “Let me show you around the flat. You can have this room. It’s got the best view of the Eiffel Tower.”

  "Where are you sleeping?"

  "I'm across the flat. If you need anything, just give me a shout."

  "You must be so relieved to get back in your own bed again instead of the couch."

  I doubted it would help me sleep any better knowing she was just down the hall, but I was willing to try anything. “Something like that.” Leaving her to get settled, I took a long, hot shower, letting the grime of the Paris crowds wash off of me. Afterward, I donned a pair of pajama bottoms. I normally slept naked, but that was a hell of a lot of temptation. And if she did come in needing anything, she probably didn’t want a bird’s eye view of my God-given assets.

  Now all I had to do was pray for a dreamless sleep. But the moment I heard crying, I knew sleep wasn’t in the cards for me.

  Imani

  This was the Paris I’d dreamed of. After washing my hair, I’d sat in front of the window, twisting it in chunky sections and staring up. If I believed in fairy tales, today was that perfect kind of fairy-tale day.

  My phone rang, and I dragged it out of my purse, recognizing the home phone number on display. “Ebony?”

  There was a pause. “No, it’s your father, you know, that man you don’t bother to call anymore.” His words slurred together, and I knew right away he’d been drinking.

  Nevertheless, guilt slithered its way down my spine. He was right. I hadn’t called. I’d been making it a point to avoid him. Because more often than not, he had been drinking, and our conversations usually ended in a fight about money, abandoning the family to go to London, leaving him with the burden of raising Ebony. He seemed to forget that Ebony was his child, not mine. “Dad, how are you? Is Ebony okay?”

  “Of course she’s okay. I take care of her, don’t I?”

  No. Actually, he didn’t. I did most of the work, paid all the bills electronically, had organized for groceries to be delivered. But that didn’t matter because I loved my sister and I would do anything for her, including be the parent. “What’s going on, Dad?”

  “I want you to stop filling your sister’s head with that nonsense about her moving to London. There is no scenario where I let her just move.”

  “What? You don’t want her to have a future? You won’t be able to stop her if she wants to come.” But before I could bring Ebony to London, I had his mortgage bill to pay. But I wasn’t bringing that up. I was too tired for that epic kind of rumble.

  “Well, I’m not going to pay for it. I already told her. And she can forget about her prom.” His words slurred again, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. He’d never forgiven me for wanting out of that depressing house after my mother’s death. He thought I should have stayed home and gone to State University of New York. When my mother had died my sophomore year of high school, he’d completely unraveled and started drinking more heavily.

  It had started slow, with him forgetting to pick us up from school, then the power getting shut off. He couldn’t manage the day-to-day caretaking of Ebony, so I had done it. He owned his own business, so his employees had taken over the lion’s share of the effort. But when he’d missed a payroll, I’d been the one to step in and set up automatic payments. And when I’d told him I’d be leaving for school, he’d crumbled. But I knew I couldn’t have stayed in that house any longer without killing off a piece of myself
. So I’d chosen to save myself rather than stay for my sister.

  When my father was sober, things were good. I could see pieces of the man I loved. But those days were rare. The guilt I felt for leaving my sister behind overwhelmed me some days. But I was trying to fix that now. “I’m working to take that burden off of you. It doesn’t have to be hard, Daddy. It’ll make her happy.”

  “You never wanted to help me. You ran away as soon as you could.”

  Because he’d suffocated me. Because I should have been worried about school, but because he couldn’t deal, I shouldered the burden. And it was a heavy one. “I followed my dream. I’m sorry that hurt you. But it’s too much. You’re hurting Ebony.”

  “You don't know what you’re talking about. You think I’m doing this to spite you? I’m not. Business isn’t good, Imani. I have to lay people off. Those extras, I actually can’t afford them. And there you are living a highflying lifestyle instead of being here contributing. All you’re doing is filling Ebony’s head with dreams I’ll never be able to fulfill.”

  I blinked away the stinging in my eyes as I looked up at the Eiffel Tower. This was highflying. It was a dream, and I’d see it through for my sister. “What do you want from me, Dad? I’ll do it. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’m doing the best I can.”

  “You want to help? Instead of filling your sister’s mind with dreams she can’t have, focus on the things she needs now.”

  Why hadn’t Ebony mentioned her prom? Probably because she was more worried about the mortgage. “How much is it for prom, Dad? I can help.”

  “Dress, limo, tickets, you do the math.”

  The walls closed in just a little tighter, and I fought to breathe. Why did this have to be so damn hard? “I’ll talk to Ebony and take care of it.”

  He was silent for so long I thought he’d either passed out or hung up. “Why did you have to leave?”

  “Daddy, I—” But he was gone. The dial tone sounded in my ear. Crying will not solve anything. Crying will not solve anything. It didn't matter what I told myself, hot tears splashed my cheeks as I stared up at the Eiffel Tower.