Love Reality Page 10

  That kiss on that spectacular porch had been like turning on the first light bulb after centuries of darkness. Her body had buzzed with the electricity. Oh sure, he’d kissed her before, but somehow tonight’s kiss had felt…real.

  Just a few days ago, she’d wanted Ryan off the show, but somewhere on the date as he talked about his family he’d become real to her. That house had been stunning, but it hadn’t felt like him. Though, when he’d talked about his summers in South Carolina, he’d sounded genuinely happy. That had been the real him. That’s who he was. That’s who she wanted.

  Too bad the happy, glowy feelings of that kiss were now gone. The moment the cameras had stopped rolling, she’d dragged off her heels. Damn, those Choos were gorgeous but painful. As the limo drove her back to her apartment, she slipped her feet into her ballet flats and sighed, unable to get the night out of her head. With Ryan, she’d been so focused on who he was she hadn’t paid enough attention to how he made her feel. And Dorian, well, she’d wanted to focus on anything but that date.

  One thing he did do for her was give her some food for thought. She’d have to find out just how much coaching the guys were getting.

  When the car pulled up to her apartment, she leaned forward toward the driver. “Thank you so much, Thomas.”

  “Any time, Miss Donovan.” The elderly black man reminded her of her grandfather, with always-smiling eyes and a deep mellow voice.

  She dragged her aching body to the elevator. All she wanted was to plop on her couch with a cup of hot cocoa.

  But when the elevator door slid open, she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Her heart stuttered when she saw Ryan lounging against her door. “What are you doing here?”

  * * *

  “Would you believe I wanted to make sure you got home safe?” Ryan asked.

  She shook her head. “Look, I’ve had a long night and had to endure things that would make your stomach turn. I just want to go to bed.”

  Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “I need to talk to you.”

  A frown marred her smooth forehead, and her gaze darted down the hallway. “You realize I just saw you, right? And you realize what’s at stake if we get caught? I like my job. You cannot be here.”

  So she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. “I’m sorry, okay, but it’s important. I needed to talk to you when cameras weren’t around.”

  Shaking her head, she muttered, “Fine.” Unlocking the door, she led him inside. She didn’t bother with a hallway light but led them into the living room. Light washed the cozy area, making the cherry hardwood floors gleam. “You want a drink or something?”

  “No.” The last thing he needed was his inhibitions lowered. “I’m good.”

  Mia shifted on her feet, and he worked hard to ignore the urge to touch her again. Every time he did, he lost some control, and he wasn’t such a fan of that feeling. Liar. There was no way to be delicate about this part. So he just ripped off the Band-Aid. “I want to warn you. About Jamie.”

  “My boss?” Her head snapped up, and she glared at him. “Come again?”

  “Hear me out, okay? She’s playing you. She’s using you for the ratings; she’s manipulating the situation.”

  “What?”

  “I’m telling you the truth. The date with Dorian—it was a setup. I doubt America chose him as number one.”

  “Oh, I get it. Your feelings were hurt that you, the dating guru, had to share the number one spot. And like you’re not manipulating the show too. You forget I’ve worked on this show since I was in college. Obviously, you’re not there to find love. You’re using the show for your column. How are you any different than Jamie?”

  “Damn it, Mia, I’m trying to protect you. I know you don’t want to listen to me but watch your back. She doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Only her ratings.”

  “What? And you do?”

  He had to tell her something or she wouldn’t listen to him. “Look, she was in my earpiece half the night, trying to get me to push things further with you. She hinted that if I do what she says, she’d see me to the end.”

  She frowned. “Bullshit.”

  “You know what, don’t believe me. You think she’s trying to help you, and she’s not. She’s only helping herself. You can’t be so naïve all the time.”

  Mia squared off with him. “What am I supposed to do with this information?”

  “Fuck if I know. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

  She pinned him with a direct glare. “Why? What does it matter to you?”

  Wasn’t that a hell of a good question. “Because, you’re all I seem to be able to think about. Deep down, you know I’m telling you the truth.”

  * * *

  Mia’s breath caught. “Ryan, I—”

  He didn’t give her a chance to speak. Instead, he kissed her. His lips fused over hers as if that melding was how things were supposed to be. Strong hands angled her head so he could deepen the kiss. And when he licked into her mouth, stroking his tongue over hers, all she could do was hold on.

  She slid her hands through the silken strands of his hair and held him in place as he kissed her. Ryan cupped her ass, raising her up until her dress shifted to accommodate her legs winding around his waist. Once her hips nestled against him, his thick erection nudged her center, and the spike of heat made her moan.

  Ryan’s hands flexed, and Mia arched into him. Dragging his lips from hers, he hissed. “Mia.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you trying to drive me insane?”

  She raked her nails over his scalp once more, and a shudder racked his whole body. The growl started low in his throat before he kissed her again.

  Ryan turned their bodies to brace her against her door and bracketed both her hands over her head. When he canted his hips, her body bucked into him, and he answered with a slow roll of his hips.

  With one hand securing her wrists, he slid the other up her torso. His thumb traced each rib until he reached the underside of her breast. She wrenched her mouth from his as her brain scrambled for purchase. “Ryan—”

  He dropped his forehead to hers, their gazes locking. “God, I fucking love it when you say my name like that—all throaty and low. It makes me want to do things.”

  Do things? Yes, please. Matter of fact, anything he wanted would be welcome right about now. “Like what?” she breathed.

  He sucked in his bottom lip as his thumb slowly traced over her nipple, and she gasped. Against her heated center, his cock throbbed, rubbing against her, just where she needed.

  “I’ve been dreaming of what you might look like when you come,” he whispered as he continued to tease her nipple.

  Oh wow. He kept that up, and he’d find out.

  Ryan rocked his hips into her again and bit out a curse. “Why can’t I seem to stop touching you?”

  Mia shivered, and some of the fog began to clear. “I—” The need for him made her foggy. She wanted him. Probably more than she’d wanted David, but the things he’d said to her about Jamie lingered in the back of her mind, and her brain struggled to grasp onto them, but she couldn’t think when he was touching her. “I-I can’t.”

  He lifted his head. “Mia?”

  She pushed at his shoulders. “You have to go.”

  He set her down then took a large step back. “Are you okay?”

  No. “Yes. Fine. I’m not going to lie to you, I want you. It’s pretty obvious, but I’m not jeopardizing everything I’ve been working for by sneaking around with you.”

  “You’re right. It is risky. But I’m not giving up. I have this thing about getting what I want.”

  “You’re welcome to give it your best shot.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Do I need to get a shotgun?”

  Mia smiled as she held the phone to her ear. “Hi, Derek. No, you do not need to get a shotgun. It wasn’t that bad.” And good thing no one had seen what happened in her apartment after the kiss.

&nbs
p; “Uh, have you seen the playback, kid? That was a serious kiss. You’re lucky I’m so good-natured about it. I think Dylan wants to beat his ass, or arrest him. I’m not sure which one would give him more satisfaction.”

  “Like what, get a posse, round him up? It’s a reality dating show. It’s all about how they shoot it.” Then something he said registered with Mia. “Wait, how the hell did Dylan see it? I only sent the advance clip to you and Delilah.”

  There was a beat of silence. “Well, the whole family sort of watched together on Skype. There was popcorn and commentary.”

  Oh, God. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

  “No. Mom and Dad saw you trying to swallow that douche bag’s tongue too.”

  If there was ever a moment for the ground to open and swallow her up, this would be it. She looked down. Right now would be great. But nothing happened. “Fantastic. Derek, you’re making my day. Swear to God, you are. You weren’t supposed to share that.”

  Her brother sighed. “There wasn’t much I could do. You know the house has no privacy. I’m seriously regretting not staying in a hotel this visit. I hooked my laptop up to the television in the den; next thing I know, Ma walks in, and you know she can’t keep a secret. Before I know it, we’re Skyping everyone in. You’re lucky I’m so cool. But even I had a good dose of the eww factor. But the way I figure it, you could use some fun. A nice guy. Is he a nice guy?”

  Mia ignored the twinge of pain. Not going there. She hated that Derek felt sorry for her. So she’d had her heart broken. So the guy she thought she was in love with left her. Like her parents had. She was a different person now. It didn’t bother her. Moving right along. She cleared her throat. “Yeah, because nice guys are everywhere.”

  “It certainly looked like you were vibing with that guy last night. What was his name? Ryan?”

  Mia rolled her lips in to hide a smile. She recognized the fishing routine well. No one had liked David. Not even Derek, who went out of his way to be on her side. They’d all been relieved when he finally split, but they hated that she’d been hurt. And now they all watched her blog with too much interest to make her comfortable, hoping she’d meet someone nice.

  “You can stop fishing. I’m not giving anything up. If you want the blow by blow, you can read it on my blog.”

  Her brother made a strangled sound. “Please, God, tell me there was no blowing.”

  “What? God, no!” Before she could stop it, her mind went there. Hmm, blowing, that could get interesting. She shook her head to clear the all-too-hot mental image of Ryan with his head tossed back grabbing onto a table for purchase, while she rocked his world. “No blowing of any kind, thank you very much.” She had to get off the phone with him before he mortified either of them even more. “Look, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sure thing, Mama Mia. But…” His voice trailed. “For reals, are you okay? You just seemed a little vulnerable. I know a lot of that is camera work and all of that smoke and mirrors stuff, but I know how you are, so I wanted to check.”

  Her heart squeezed. Good old Derek, always looking to protect her. “I’m good, Big Brother. No danger for my heart here.” Now, if only that were true.

  An hour later, when she was supposed to be concentrating, Mia was staring at the blinking curser on her proposal and daydreaming about Ryan. God, she needed to get a grip. It was a kiss, nothing more. He’d done what he promised. Traffic to her site was up 200%.

  She groaned, and the sound had one of the camera guys shifting into a better position to see if he could get a look at her proposal. Too annoyed to remember to play nice, she turned on him. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to see. This is totally boring. Are you sure you’d rather not be doing something fun?”

  Tom shrugged. “I’m working, Mia. Sorry if it’s intrusive.”

  She rolled her shoulders. It wasn’t his fault. She’d been the one crazy enough to sign on for this. No. You just wanted your own show badly enough to deal with this shit.

  Her desk phone rang, and she answered with her usual greeting. “This is Mia.”

  “Mia, the camera guys tell me that the footage of you working is pretty boring. Why don’t you come up so we can give you some pointers and they can film it.”

  Annoyance flared in her chest, but she quickly tamped it down. This was her boss. She was getting a hell of an opportunity. “I really appreciate it, Jamie, but you don’t have to do that. I understand how busy you are.”

  “Mia.” Jamie’s voice hardened. “Come up. I have time now. I want to make sure the footage of you is compelling.”

  Compelling. Right. Mia carted her laptop upstairs and had to wait several minutes as the cameras set up for her to walk in. When she did, Jamie was more than ready for her close-up—complete with full makeup, including a smoky eye.

  “I appreciate you taking the time.”

  “Of course. Anything I can do for my protégé.”

  Mia’s brows rose. Ryan’s words echoed in her head. She needs your show more than you need her guidance. She shook her head to clear the thought. “Well, it’s still appreciated.”

  Jamie didn’t bother to sit behind her desk. Instead, she came around to sit on the couch, next to Mia. Was this an act? Stop it. Jamie was trying to help her. She couldn’t let Ryan get to her.

  “Why don’t you show me what you have for your proposal? I’ll give you pointers anywhere I can.” Dramatically, she pulled out glasses and slid them on.

  As if Jamie hadn’t already coached her on direction, now they had to go through this charade for the cameras? Mia couldn’t help a quick glance at the camera guy who was doing a close-up on Jamie. She’s playing you. She’s using you for the ratings; she’s manipulating the situation. Ryan’s words tripped through her brain as she tried to concentrate.

  “So, the idea is to follow our scripted Lonely Girl through her trials and tribulations of navigating today’s dating landscape. It’s obviously younger than Sex and the City, but unlike Girls, there will be a woman of color at the center. And instead of the show centering on her and her girlfriends, the center will be her family with the friends looped in on occasion.”

  Jamie nodded and leaned forward as if it was the most compelling idea for a series she’d ever heard. “That’s great, Mia. How did you come up with it?”

  Oh, so they were really going to play this game? Some of the respect she had for Jamie slipped as her boss used her in front of the camera. “Well, I’m aware that the landscape portrayed on network television for women of color is relegated to only a few networks, and even the dating shows geared toward women of color don’t do justice. I want a show that’s accessible for all and real. Something me and other women like me can identify with.”

  Jamie put a sympathetic hand on her knee, and Mia frowned. Everything about Jamie’s posture read concern and interest…except for her eyes. They were flat and bored. Well, of course she was bored. She’d heard all this already, but that had been off camera.

  “I think a show like this can be groundbreaking.” Jamie’s brows knit then she leaned in conspiratorially to add, “Have you thought of making this a reality show?”

  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? They had never discussed this before. “N-no. That’s not really the direction I was thinking.”

  “I think the idea has merit. The costs are cheaper, and you already know how compelling reality television can be.”

  Jamie raised her head and gave Mia an expectant look. What the hell? She expected her to answer right now? On camera? If she wanted to discuss it, then they should have talked about this before.

  She’s manipulating you. She shoved the thought out of her head. Jamie had three shows under her belt. She knew what she was doing. She couldn’t let Ryan get into her head.

  Jaw set, Mia leveled a gaze on her boss. “I can consider it, but I’ve always envisioned this as a scripted show.”

  Jamie cocked her head, and Mia held her breath. She’d seen this before. Right befo
re her boss dropped the hammer. But instead of slamming her down, Jamie nodded. “Of course, Mia, I support you and your vision. I’m here with whatever questions you have.”

  For another hour, Mia walked Jamie through the rest of the proposal as she had it. But Jamie had stopped listening along the way and spent a good deal of time glancing at her phone. That would probably be edited out.

  As soon as the camera behind Jamie switched off, Mia breathed a sigh of relief. The dog and pony show was exhausting. She’d known what she was getting herself into, but she hadn’t known. She had to find a way to keep her equilibrium, otherwise, she wouldn’t have any juice left. More importantly, she needed to figure out a way to keep Ryan out of her head.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Later that night, Mia took a cab to El Torro Restaurant in Midtown. The streets were packed with tourists, every single one of them looking up. Street performers danced and saxophoned their way to tips, and the smell of steam and street vendors filled the air. Normally she loved the energy of the city. Tonight, she just wanted it to numb her.

  Even before she sat down, her sister was pouring her a margarita. “Babes, you need a drink.”

  Mia smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

  Larissa helped herself to a glass as well. “She does. I still can’t believe Jamie strutting in front of the camera like that. I mean it’s ridiculous.”

  Mia took a big sip, shivering as the ice cold drink hit her back teeth. “Yeah well, it’s her show right? If she wants to be featured, she can do it. I know I signed up for this, but I can’t help feeling like maybe I made a deal with the devil. I can’t even breathe.”

  Delilah smiled sympathetically. “How did you escape anyway? I signed the release last week with the shooting date. I thought they were supposed to film our girl talk night.”

  Laughter bubbled inside, and Mia released it, perfectly aware of just how hysterical she might sound. “They were supposed to film, but I needed some breathing room, so I ditched them.”